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Posts Tagged ‘funny’

GEICO and Outback Steakhouse partnership

October 21, 2010 1 comment

The Gecko has announced through his Twitter account (@TheGEICOGecko) a new partnership with Outback Steakhouse restaurants. Outback has stated that it has fired its last announcer amidst millions of accusations that the announcer was not an authentic Australian (though Outback has not denied this). Outback has also announced its relaunched My Outback Rewards, a frequent diner program, taking cues from airlines and hotels with their programs. Not giving out anymore information until the official launch date at November 1, 2010, Outback said that Rewards Members will receive a free basket of fries upon every 15th visit in addition to the points they already receive for every visit. In addition, GEICO customers will receive a 15% discount of their total bill for every 15th visit.

GEICO, on October 15th, has already announced the partnership saying drivers can not only save 15% or more on car insurance, but they can save 15% on a visit to the restaurant. Also, Rewards Members receive a discount of 0.15% off every bill.

Notes
1. Rewards Members in Massachusetts are not eligible for the GEICO discount.
2. Rewards Members must be age 13 and up to be eligible for the GEICO discount.
3. GEICO customers must present their last statement or GEICO card and a government issued ID before ordering.
4. During the 1st week of the relaunched My Outback Rewards program, the Gecko will visit Outback Steakhouse restaurants in Oakland, and Jacksonville. The specific restaurant, date, and time will be a surprise. Near the end of Outback Rewards Week, the Gecko will visit all restaurants in Chevy Chase, MD and Tampa, company headquarters for GEICO and Outback respectively.

United/Continental Airline Merger

October 3, 2010 1 comment

It’s official! United shareholders have approved the acquisition of Continental.

We all know that some mergers are just plain messy. With airlines adding all these ridiculous fees, I’d thought I’d help them create more of them…

1. In the UNLIKELY event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down. To start the flow of oxygen, simply insert your credit card…
2. $100 on-time departure fee…$25 delay complaint fee. An additional fee of $2 for a fake reason and $10 for the real reason.
3. $50 to use Jetway or $20 to use roll-away stairs to enter/exit the aircraft. No charge to use rope ladder alternative
4. $9 fee for bumping your head on the overhead bin as you you get up from your seat; $3 additional for looking up at the bin after you bump into it
5. $2 for low A/C…$3 for high A/C… No charge to use your partner’s A/C
6. $5 to use reading light, an additional $3 if you accidentally page the flight attendant.
7. $4 to use the lavatory, $5 to lock the door…an additional $1 to flush the toilet, $.50 for each section of toilet paper you use. No charge to use your hand. $2 to wash your hands with water, $1 to use the soap….and $4 if you want the moist towelette alternative.
8. If you use your airsickness bag as your lavatory, that will be a $15 charge.
9. Tap water is now $5…no charge for recycled lavatory water.
10. $20 to exit the plane

We thank you for choosing our airline and we look forward to serving you again!